This Classy Joint
by MrsJasperHale69
Summary: Edward whisks Bella away on a secret honeymoon... but they have to survive the flight first! OneShot, sweet lemony goodness with some dirty talk thrown in for your enjoyment.


**As per usual, I own nothing. I deserve to, though. I would do much tastier things with the characters then good old Steph would dare to. But once again, I DON'T OWN THE CHARACTERS. I just gave them something to live for. **

**Enjoy, and please REVIEW. It won't kill you, but it WILL inspire me to write more. So if you like it, TELL ME. I'm also open to story ideas, if you want to give me something to brainstorm with. **

**~MrsJasperHale69**

The idea of a honeymoon had never phased me as a little girl. I wasn't even preoccupied with planning my dream wedding like all the other kids in grade 5. I was always spontaneous. If I had somehow had a glimpse of what my future would hold, I would probably have prepared myself a little ahead of time.

Our wedding was beautiful. That was the understatement of the century. It was perfect. Alice had it all planned – and to my surprise she didn't overdo anything. I think that was because Edward kept envisioning her plans and putting a stop to them before they could take place. My dress was gorgeous, even if it was made of the same beautiful fabric that I would avoid in shops. It was fitted so perfectly, it was if it had been fit especially for me. Alice had picked it out naturally, with the help of Rosalie and Esme of course. I knew that with the latter two there, they would convince Alice to tone down the frills and over-the-top decorations.

And yet as many times as I went over it in my mind before the ceremony, I can hardly remember what vows I said, or heard. My mind glazed over the second I saw Edwards smouldering eyes on mine when I reached the alter. A few moments of the ceremony I can remember clearly - such as the "I do's" and the exchanging of the rings. I remember how Edwards's side of the church were decidedly paler, and more silent than on my side. His side cried fake tears made out of saline that Carlisle had jacked from the hospital and thoughtfully handed out. There was nothing more distracting during a wedding ceremony when a vampire makes a deal of a coughing fit in which to squirt themselves in the eye with salt water.

So here we were, 5 hours later, standing in line at the airport. And Edward was not giving me any of the answers I was looking for.

"So where are you taking me?" I asked, trying not to whine. I hated surprises, and he knew that. It frustrated me to no end to know that he was doing this on purpose.

"I can't say. That'd ruin the element of surprise, my dear," he smiled easily, not at all moved by my plea.

"I love you," I tried, giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

"Oh Bella. I love you, too. But I'm still not going to tell you no matter how many adorable faces you pull at me."

I gave up, craning my neck to see the departure board. Surely our flight would be on there. I saw a whole array of flights, about 50 of them. Frustrated, my eyes swept downwards over the numerous locations all over the world and possibly even Mars.

"Don't even bother, love. I've spoken to the airline and they've let the passengers know that if you ask them about the flight, they keep their mouths shut. So you might as well relax. You'll love it, don't worry. Alice told me so."

He smiled reassuringly before lifting me up so that I could stand on his shoes. Oh well. If Alice saw that I would enjoy it, it couldn't be that bad could it? I buried my face in his shirt and inhaled his sweet scent, never minding that I was standing in the middle of a busy terminal. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a group of teenage girls giving me extremely dirty looks before pushing past me with their chests out and their lips pouted.

"Someone's jealous," I mused, a smug smile on my face as I felt him laugh softly before he pulled back slightly to graze his lips against mine. I heard one of them scoff and I pulled away, never an exhibitionist myself. I saw the woman at the check in desk motioning for us to come forward, and wasn't too surprised when she unbuttoned the first two buttons of her blouse and flicked her hair in Edward's direction.

"Hello. We're the Cullens. I do believe that we have made prior arrangements?" Edward asked in a low voice that had the desk clerk hyperventilating.

"Oh. The Cullens. In that case, here are your tickets and enjoy... your... honeymoon." The look on her face did not at all depict her well wishes as she eyed me suspiciously as if I may be carrying a gun in my Gucci handbag.

"Thank you, ma'am. Have a nice day!" Edward smiled as her eyelids fluttered so dramatically I thought she was having a seizure. He tucked the tickets safely in his inside jacket pocket and, for the moment, out of my reach.

"You too, sir!" she squeaked before fanning herself with airport security pamphlets when she thought that we were out of view.

I had never really been on too many holidays in my lifetime, and I could only faintly remember the airport from when I arrived here from Arizona two and a half years ago. All I knew was that we were heading through customs. I managed to dump my bag on the conveyor belt. Edward had insisted that he'd carry it but I had been stubborn as always and refused. I hadn't known at the time that it would get heavier and heavier the longer I carried it for.

By the time we got to gate 5 it was time to board. Edward had never struck me as a 'waiting-around' sort of person, so it surprised me little. Our tickets were for business class of course, and the seats were the size of armchairs with about one million buttons on the armrest without a single direction printed anywhere near it. There were the necessary safety procedure pamphlets in the chair pocket and glimpsed the image of the "in case of emergency departure from cabin, please remove all footwear" and was presented with the mental image of an enraged Rosalie refusing to kick off her stilettos even as the plane was plunging into the Atlantic Ocean. Then again, no impact would harm her after all. Well, except for if the plane caught fire. That would cause problems.

"So are you going to tell me how long the flight is?" I tried as I buckled my seatbelt and settled into the seat.

"Long enough," was his cool reply, closing the shutter on the window to prevent the blinding sunlight that streamed though.

A few hours into the flight and I was fidgeting mercilessly. I was watching a movie on the screen embedded in the back of the chair in front of me, but I wasn't paying it any attention. Edward had his hand on my knee, squeezing it every now and then as he flicked through the in-flight magazine with an uninterested expression on his face. He seemed to sense my discomfort as he pushed the magazine back into the seat pocket and turned to me with amusement on his face.

"Bored already?" he asked, trying to hide a smirk.

"Yes. I'm mostly nervous, I guess. I haven't flown in a while," I admitted, turning my head towards him.

A concerned look passed over his perfect features before he unsnapped my seatbelt with a snap of his wrist and lifted the armrest between us before pulling me backwards to lie across his lap. His arms crossed over me protectively and cradled me against his body. There was not a doubt in my mind that his arms offered more safety than any airplane seatbelt, so I didn't object. Not to mention, his scent was terribly soothing and his hands were something else as they drifted over my shoulders, tucking the loose strands of hair behind my ear as his fingers danced over my skin.

"Let me distract you," he suggested fluidly as his hands softly kneaded my shoulders, releasing the tension that had gathered there from all the stress of the wedding – rehearsing the vows, planning parts of the ceremony, and most of all defying some of Alice's more crazy ideas. I was finally able to relax in his arms as his magical touch massaged away all of the worries, anxieties and problems that I had faced within the last few weeks.

I could feel the knots that had formed in my muscles slowly being worked out by his firm yet gentle touch. I had to keep from moaning out loud at the lovely feeling it provided.

"Christ, Bella. You're so tight." Edward murmured in my ear, immediately sending an electric shock down my spine to pool in my lower belly. I couldn't help the gush of wetness that grew in my panties at his double entendre. Now I was no longer nervous or bored. I was horny.

I lifted my head from his lap to place a kiss on his lips. It was meant to be gentle but he deepened it, his tongue easily slipping into my mouth and stroking mine softly.

"Edward, have you ever heard of The Mile High Club?" I whispered breathlessly, my hands already unsnapping his seatbelt and getting ready to stand up. He didn't miss a beat. Without saying a word, he stood up and took hold of my hand, leading us down the narrow passageway towards the airplane bathroom. We were lucky that there were no crew standing around to see us disappear behind the curtain and into the bathroom. Edward slid the bolt on the door shut before turning around. With two of us in this small room, our noses were practically touching even when we were standing on opposite sides.

Perfect.

He wasted no time in finding my lips with his own, his hand seeking unspoken permission to travel up my shirt and to cup one of my breasts softly. I moaned, breaking our connection momentarily to breathe before our mouths reattached. I found myself arching towards his palm shamelessly, begging him with my body to touch me harder, to be rough. I was, after all, backed up against the wall of an airplane toilet. How low could you go?

"This isn't exactly how I planned our first time as husband and wife to be, you know," I heard him comment as I hurriedly unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them down his narrow hips. His hands had made their way sneakily up my thigh and gained access to my panties under the thin summer dress that Alice had insisted I wear for the flight. Dresses just meant one less item of clothes to remove when it came to me and Edward.

"Bella Swan would never fuck a man in a bathroom. Bella Cullen would," I answered, hoping that he'd stop talking and start focusing entirely on the task at hand, aka me. He seemed satisfied with my response however, as he lifted me up and sat me on the vanity table which was about 5 inches wide at the most. It was his hips in between my legs that kept me there.

"I hope the only man that Bella Cullen fucks is her husband, right?" he asked again before he suddenly ploughed into me, without giving me a chance to answer.

"Oh my God! Yes. I'm yours! Please, don't stop!" I managed to choke out as he thrust rhythmically into me. I bit my lip to stifle a scream as he gently rubbed circles around my clit with one of his long-fingered hands. The other tangled in my hair, pulling it almost painfully as our hips met each time with the erotic sound of skin slapping together.

"Because no man could fuck you like I do, could they?" he questioned. His tone was not nearly as broken as mine.

"Yes! Yes! Oh God, Edward! Fuck me!" I was trying to whisper but my voice kept squeaking at certain parts.

"No human could make you come as fast as you do with me inside you. No one else will ever know how it feels when you come while they're buried in your wet heat. They won't know how it feels as you contract around them, as you call out their name in your release."

This was beyond my control. I was trying in vain to move my hips to meet his, but my range of movement was severely disabled. Without warning, he pulled out of me and swung me around so that I was leaning over the sink and facing the mirror, his cock suddenly filling me once more with a renewed fever.

"Say my name, Bella."

"Edward. Oh fuck! Edward!" I almost cried. I could see his face over my shoulder in the mirror, and how his expression contorted slightly in his pleasure. I felt his hand travel once more to rub on my clit.

"No one else will ever touch you like this, do you understand?" he demanded, his fingers now drumming a staccato rhythm against my clitoris, in time with his thrusting.

"No one else. Only you. I'm yours. Oh God, please, I'm yours."

"All mine!" he growled, slamming into me as I felt my release so close before me I had to close my eyes.

My back arched up towards him so that I could see us through my heavily lidded eyes, my breasts arching with each aching breath, pushing back against him in abandon.

"Watch yourself! Watch me make you come, Bella Cullen," he demanded, my eyes opening with great effort on my part. I could see our reflection in the dirty mirror. He was truly fucking me now, as only a vampire could. His fingers never broke the rhythm as he thrust into me one final time before I lost it.

"Oh FUCK! Edward!" I cried out, not caring that we were in the toilet of an airplane that held another 400 passengers. I saw his eyes widen behind me at my expression as he slammed into me one final time before burying his face in my neck, grazing the sensitive skin with his teeth which only brought on another, only slightly smaller, orgasm from me.

My knees gave out from underneath me, and I thanked the Lord that his grip on my hips was enough to sustain my upright position because I was sure that if I fell in this tiny space I was sure to hit my head on a faucet and give myself concussion before our honeymoon even really began.

"This is why I married you," Edward whispered softly into my neck, which is where his head was buried as he recovered from our award-worthy orgasm. His hands were splayed protectively over my tummy, rubbing circles gently on my hypersensitive skin.

"Because I have sex with you in airplane toilets?" I asked, confused by this comment.

He laughed throatily and I could feel the vibrations in his chest against my back.

"No, silly. I married you because you are so perfectly made for me. We fit together like puzzle pieces. Everything about you, even the parts you don't like, drive me crazy. And, also, the sex thing is pretty damn good, too."

I laughed, even though I was overcome with the kind of girly emotion that a Bella from 3 years ago would have scoffed at. I felt tears welling in the back of my eyes and willed them to go away, seeing as now seemed a tad inappropriate considering I was still half-bent over the vanity with my husband buried deep inside of me.

"Are you going to cry?" Edward asked, concern filling his gorgeous face. "Did I hurt you? Are you alright?"

"Yes, you idiot. I'm fine. I'm just... you're just... it's just... I'm a little bit emotional right now. That's all," I said, taking a few breaths.

"I think you need to spend less time around Alice. She's turning you into a girl," Edward joked, kissing my shoulder before pulling out of me with a sigh.

"I know, right! It's like a whole new me. I cry all the time. And I get all soppy over romantic shit, and I'm not used to it," I shrugged, adjusting the straps of my dress.

"Romantic shit? Ah, the old Bella has rejoined us in this classy joint," Edward smirked, buttoning his jeans. With a bit of difficulty he managed to open the bathroom door and shove me out of it into the corridor.

"What about my hair!" I exclaimed, inwardly cringing as I reminded myself of something Alice might say.

"It looks good. Looks just like you've been given a good pounding. So naturally, I'm rather fond of it." Edward closed the door behind him as he pulled me back against him, letting me lead the way back to our seats. I hoped that he remembered our seat numbers because I sure didn't!

"And just because I think you would appreciate this, there's only about another 2 hours left of this flight. And then I have a little surprise booked for us when we get there," Edward whispered in my ear, his hands holding my hips as I manoeuvred my way through the first class cabin towards our seats.

"Oh, yeah?" I asked, my mind suddenly filled with all sorts of sexual endeavours that he could be alluding to.

"Yeah. Something that I know you would be too afraid to try any other time," Edward continued, placing a chaste kiss on my neck.

"Mm hm," I moaned softly, hoping that nobody noticed the horny couple that were making their way down the plane.

"Something risky. Dangerous. Adventurous."

Oh, so it was going to get kinky? I thought with a shiver.

"Bella, tell me something," Edward growled into the crook of my neck as I finally found our seats.

"What, baby?"

"How do you feel about bunjee jumping?"

Fuck.


End file.
